


If I Ask

by memories_are_all_we_have



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 12:35:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17981456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memories_are_all_we_have/pseuds/memories_are_all_we_have
Summary: This thing between them has been going on for a while. Sonny thinks he understands what they have and he's done his best to live with it.Then Rafael asks one little question.





	If I Ask

**Author's Note:**

> I love vulnerable Rafael, this is literally just me indulging that. Enjoy!

"If I asked you to stay, would you?"

The room is dark, lit only by the fluorescent lights of the city streaming in from the window. Silent, aside from the words now hanging in the air between them. The man on the bed sits perfectly still, watching his partner try to stay balanced, one leg in his dress pants. At the question, however, he pauses. Blue eyes rise, meeting green. Even in the dark of the bedroom, they find each other. And despite the darkness, for the first time, one sees the other clearly.

"Do you want me to stay?" Sonny's voice is breathless as he lets his pants fall to the ground. The air is thick, tense with a thousand possible moments. Something has shifted- this is no longer the situation Sonny thought it was. The bitterness he'd been feeling twisted inside him, daring him to hope he'd heard right.

Rafael's voice is just as soft as it'd been when he spoke before. "Yes." Here, in the darkness of his bedroom, he is a different man. His suit, his armor against the world, is gone, having been thrown haphazardly around the room in heated passion not a few hours ago. He is naked before Sonny, arms curling reflexively around his midsection. As they stare at each other, however, it isn't his nudity that truly makes him vulnerable. It's his eyes, those green orbs that fall to the bed when Sonny doesn't answer. "Never mind. Go. I'll see you tomorrow." There's a hitch to his words, a sadness so ingrained in his soul that it makes Sonny ache. He yearns to wash away that sadness, to replace it with love.

This is a man Sonny has not gotten to know. A man Sonny has seen only a handful of times for short moments. He's who lives behind the wall around Rafael's heart. When that wall cracks, he peeks out. Sonny suspects he's the one of started this whole thing- the one who followed Sonny after a hard case and asked, voice softer and kinder than Rafael's ever was at work, if he was okay. He was the one who invited Sonny back to his place for a night cap, who kissed him over half a bottle of wine and a few shared stories.

Even after all these months of sex, of calling what they do fucking or friends with benefits or letting off steam, this man is a stranger to Sonny. But he knows that this is a man that has been hurt, that holds himself apart to keep himself together.

It's the man Sonny has always wanted to know better. He fidgets, turning away from Sonny's gaze. He isn't self-conscious about his body- it's this openness, the brokenness he's chosen to bare to Sonny, that makes him want to hide. Already, Sonny can see Rafael fighting to rebuild his walls, to box in this man and keep him under lock and key for the rest of his life.

Sonny doesn't want to let that happen. "Rafael..." The name is a pray on his lips, full of so many things he can't put into words right now. Green eyes rise, wrinkled with worry around the edges. Sonny doesn't speak again. He slips back onto the bed, hands finding Rafael's cheek and pulling him into a kiss, gentle and slow and full of all the things he doesn't dare verbalize. Rafael freezes under him briefly, then leans into the kiss. He seems unaware that he's doing it. Sonny knows this is what Rafael needs. It's what he's always needed, but been too afraid to ask for.

It's what Sonny has needed. Has wanted, but had assumed was unattainable. He has never been so glad to be wrong.

When they break apart, Sonny keeps his hand on Rafael's cheek. They breathe each other in, both breathless. Their foreheads meet and blue once again meets green. "I'll stay." Sonny promises. As he speaks, his thumb strokes along Rafael's cheek, wiping away the tears that have begun to fall. "If you want me to, I will. You just have to tell me that's what you want."

Rafael takes a breath, the air trembling down his throat. His words are soft, barely more than an exhale. But Sonny hears them perfectly. "Please stay here. With me."

Sonny nods, heart filling. "Okay. I'll stay." He leans in again, kissing Rafael again. When he pulls back, he shifts so they're laying down, Rafael half on top of him. Sonny's arms circle around him, holding him close. Rafael twists so he can bury his face in the crook of Sonny's neck. "I'm going to stay right here. With you."

And he will. He's known it since this whole thing began. As long as Rafael asks for him, he'll stay.


End file.
